Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Power of 5

Five has always been a meaningful number for me. There are five children in my family, my parents were married on Nov. 5, 1955 and it has always conjured up in my mind a vision of a boisterous childhood, and of having more than enough.

Until my twin daughters turned 5 earlier this year, that is.

Now I’m trying really hard to understand the apparel industry, the underwear sub-specialty in particular. Because try as I might, I cannot find size 5 underwear for my daughters. I finally realized, after countless fruitless searches at children’s stores and online, that it simply does not exist. There are size 2s, 3s, 4s and 6x’s everywhere you look, but size 5 has apparently been banished, excommunicated, extirpated from this earth.

To compensate, there is a size 4-6, which in no way, shape or form can conform to my little girls’ narrow hips and butts. Add to that the fact that Lily is the original princess and the pea, and cannot abide any undergarment that doesn’t fit just so, and what do you get?

A child who refuses to wear underwear at all.

I’ve tried every brand, from Osh Kosh B’Gosh to Bloomie’s to Children’s Place to Disney Princesses, and it’s always the same story - size 4s are too tight, and 4-6 is way too big.

What kind of manufacturer really thinks that a size range as broad as 4-6 will fit any child? I guess they’re counting on the fact that most children are not as picky as Lily about what goes on their rump.

I wonder what kind of collusion went on behind the scenes at underwear manufacturer gatherings to foist this upon an unsuspecting public. Is there really such a small market for a true-to-size 5 underwear that manufacturing them makes no economic sense?

It’s gotten so bad that I’m nearly willing to pay a seamstress to make seven pairs of cotton underwear exactly to Lily’s measurements, ridiculous as that may seem.

Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea. Sure, she’ll grow out of them in about six months, but at least I’ll have the peace of mind of knowing that she is appropriately clothed beneath her jeans.

And a small germ of an idea is starting here, too. Isn’t necessity the mother of invention? With the immediacy of the Internet, I may have the makings of a niche market here. All I have to do is build a small stockpile of size 5 underwear, post its availability on some parenting boards so that other mothers around the world in my predicament will know there is one place on this earth they can go to get underwear that actually fits their daughter – and voila – I’ll be rich. A girl and her bare-bottomed daughter can dream, can’t they?

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