10 Reasons Why I Work
I've been focusing lately much more on being a mom than furthering my career, but I had a good day at work today, I have a bright new assistant ready to start on Monday, and I bought a new sleeveless sweater and skirt to help beat the oppressive NY heat, so I'm in a good mood. Herewith, my manifesto on why I, a mother who adores her children to the point of distraction, still disentagles herself from them each morning, takes the LIRR and heads to Manhattan to work.
1. It engages my intellectual curiosity in a way that "Arty the Smarty" never could - yet, paradoxically, I'm the living embodiment of the fish who swam "this way" when all the other fish swam "that way" and who wanted, more than anything in life, to "make a big splash." I was a little girl who grew up in the 1970s dreaming of making an impact on the world much more than I ever dreamed of being a mother. Being the head of a department in a field I never even went to school for, and thriving in this new profession, is enormously, gargantually satisfying.
2. Stroke me, stroke me. I don't know about you, but sometimes all I get at home is whining from my children, criticism from my husband, and a seemingly endless pile of dishes in the sink. On those days, a simple compliment from my boss or successfully completing a long-term project can send me into the stratosphere. And if I get at least 5 of my 10 to-do items crossed off my Franklin Covey planner, it's heaven on a stick. Today was one of those days.
3. I like meeting new people and forging better relationships with the ones I already know. Marketing is like breathing to me. I'm getting paid to do something I already do - to some degree- naturally. Can't beat that.
4. It's empowerin, and OK, even fun -- to have a budget. I take referral sources out to cool new restaurants, I hire professional designers, I use my creativity to dream up events that will help bring more recognition and more clients to the firm. I make important decisions, back them up with ROI, and make a real impact on a $40 million professional services firm.
5. A room of my own. I live in a small house and with a husband, two kids and my aging Dad living in the basement, privacy is not an option. Looking out over 5th Avenue from my small, but private, office, offers me a sanctuary where I can think, create, and recharge my batteries.
6. I like to earn money. There - I said it. I am not the kind of woman who would do well on a spousal allowance - no matter how generous. I like working hard and getting that pay stub to show that what I did that week was worth something tangible to somebody.
7. My children. Although there are days when I think that staying home with them all day seems like a wonderful existence, the truth is that they will ultimately benefit from me having a job. I will never be one of those women whose children grow up, leave home, and then go through the crisis of "Who am I and what do I do now that I don't have young children to care for?" A working mother of teenagers once told me that her children appreciated that she clipped stories for them out of the Wall Street Journal when she read something that related to a school project they were working on, and how proud they were that their mother did something important in the world besides raising them.
8. It's genetic. My mother worked and it showed me a side of her and helped me appreciate her in a way that I would never have known (and that perhaps she never would have, either) if she didn't leave the house each day. I actually have fond memories of going to a babysitter in the morning before kindergarten and getting away with eating sugar on my Cheerios (something my mother would have forb idden at home). I also loved going to the classroom where she taught and being fussed over by her students, who adored her.
9. Life is too short. If I had 120 years to live, perhaps I would have stayed home with my girls for 15 years and then pursued a career. But time is something you never get back. And yes, I know that at the end of my life, making a difference in my daughters' lives will probably mean more to me than anything I accomplished at work, but I have an overwhelming need to do it all, and I just can't sublimate one portion of my personality. It keeps me from resenting motherhood, or work, and I think that's a good thing.
10. It just feels right. When you come down to it, we all need to go with our guts - whether it's about working outside of the home, letting your babies cry it out to sleep (couldn't do it), buying the red shirt or the blue one. We all forge the paths of our lives with each small and large decision we make, and they all add up in the end to who we are becoming and will ultimately become. I like who I am today, and I'm convinced that being a working mother is the right path for me. It isn't always thrilling, it has its definite drawbacks, but in the end - it just feels right, so I do it.
1. It engages my intellectual curiosity in a way that "Arty the Smarty" never could - yet, paradoxically, I'm the living embodiment of the fish who swam "this way" when all the other fish swam "that way" and who wanted, more than anything in life, to "make a big splash." I was a little girl who grew up in the 1970s dreaming of making an impact on the world much more than I ever dreamed of being a mother. Being the head of a department in a field I never even went to school for, and thriving in this new profession, is enormously, gargantually satisfying.
2. Stroke me, stroke me. I don't know about you, but sometimes all I get at home is whining from my children, criticism from my husband, and a seemingly endless pile of dishes in the sink. On those days, a simple compliment from my boss or successfully completing a long-term project can send me into the stratosphere. And if I get at least 5 of my 10 to-do items crossed off my Franklin Covey planner, it's heaven on a stick. Today was one of those days.
3. I like meeting new people and forging better relationships with the ones I already know. Marketing is like breathing to me. I'm getting paid to do something I already do - to some degree- naturally. Can't beat that.
4. It's empowerin, and OK, even fun -- to have a budget. I take referral sources out to cool new restaurants, I hire professional designers, I use my creativity to dream up events that will help bring more recognition and more clients to the firm. I make important decisions, back them up with ROI, and make a real impact on a $40 million professional services firm.
5. A room of my own. I live in a small house and with a husband, two kids and my aging Dad living in the basement, privacy is not an option. Looking out over 5th Avenue from my small, but private, office, offers me a sanctuary where I can think, create, and recharge my batteries.
6. I like to earn money. There - I said it. I am not the kind of woman who would do well on a spousal allowance - no matter how generous. I like working hard and getting that pay stub to show that what I did that week was worth something tangible to somebody.
7. My children. Although there are days when I think that staying home with them all day seems like a wonderful existence, the truth is that they will ultimately benefit from me having a job. I will never be one of those women whose children grow up, leave home, and then go through the crisis of "Who am I and what do I do now that I don't have young children to care for?" A working mother of teenagers once told me that her children appreciated that she clipped stories for them out of the Wall Street Journal when she read something that related to a school project they were working on, and how proud they were that their mother did something important in the world besides raising them.
8. It's genetic. My mother worked and it showed me a side of her and helped me appreciate her in a way that I would never have known (and that perhaps she never would have, either) if she didn't leave the house each day. I actually have fond memories of going to a babysitter in the morning before kindergarten and getting away with eating sugar on my Cheerios (something my mother would have forb idden at home). I also loved going to the classroom where she taught and being fussed over by her students, who adored her.
9. Life is too short. If I had 120 years to live, perhaps I would have stayed home with my girls for 15 years and then pursued a career. But time is something you never get back. And yes, I know that at the end of my life, making a difference in my daughters' lives will probably mean more to me than anything I accomplished at work, but I have an overwhelming need to do it all, and I just can't sublimate one portion of my personality. It keeps me from resenting motherhood, or work, and I think that's a good thing.
10. It just feels right. When you come down to it, we all need to go with our guts - whether it's about working outside of the home, letting your babies cry it out to sleep (couldn't do it), buying the red shirt or the blue one. We all forge the paths of our lives with each small and large decision we make, and they all add up in the end to who we are becoming and will ultimately become. I like who I am today, and I'm convinced that being a working mother is the right path for me. It isn't always thrilling, it has its definite drawbacks, but in the end - it just feels right, so I do it.
posted by workinmom at 5:00 PM
2 Comments:
I really enjoy reading your writing. I, too, am a former newspaper reporter (now a freelance writer) and I have two daughters. I'm not working outside the home fulltime, but it's great to read your thoughts about working outside the home.
Brenda,
Thanks for reading my blog - and for posting the first official comment I've gotten so far!
Looks like we have a lot in common. Working and motherhood are both so important to me. I'll continue to post my thoughts, links, etc. and hope to be blogging more often from now on.
Tracey
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